The question is almost always the same, and people rarely ask it directly: do I have to sit in a room with them? The answer is no — not unless and until you agree to. Workplace mediation is built the opposite way round to what most people imagine.
Individual Sessions Come First
Before anyone meets anyone, each person is met separately — and more than once with each is entirely normal. This is where most of the work happens, for a simple reason: people say completely different things when nobody is watching. In the first part of a session the mediator mostly listens, which sounds passive and is not; a great many workplace situations contain someone who has never actually been listened to about this, and who cannot think constructively about arrangements until they have been. Then the testing starts — what would need to change for this to be workable, what does the other person’s position look like from where you sit, what happens to you if nothing changes at all. Nothing said in an individual session goes anywhere without permission. Only after all of that does anyone decide whether a joint session would help, who would be in it, and what it is for — and that decision is made with the participants, not for them. Some workplace mediations conclude with no joint session at all, arrangements agreed through the mediator. That is a legitimate design, not a failure.
The Agreement, and the Review Nobody Expects
What emerges is short, concrete and entirely forward-looking: how communication works, what the reporting arrangements are, what specific behaviours change on each side, what meetings and handovers look like, what is said to colleagues, what is put behind both parties, and what happens if the arrangement slips. Vague terms fail, so “relations will improve” never appears — “a fifteen-minute check-in each Monday with priorities confirmed by email” does, because either party can point to it. Everyone is encouraged to take their own advice before signing anything. Then the part that surprises people: a review point, built in from the outset. A short conversation, usually separately with each person, some weeks or months later, testing three things — was the arrangement actually followed, did the behaviour change, does anything need adjusting. It does more work than its length suggests, because knowing a review is coming alters conduct in the intervening weeks. And where a workplace agreement is going to fail, it usually fails quietly in the first six weeks, and without a review nobody notices until it has failed completely. Total elapsed time for the whole thing is typically a few weeks — against months for a formal investigation. The full process is here.
What is never required: that anyone becomes friends, accepts the other person’s account of the past, apologises, or concedes they were wrong. Plenty of successful workplace mediations end with two people who still disagree entirely about what happened and who now have workable arrangements. That is a complete result.
Wondering whether yours is even a mediation? The sorting tool, or 01 5827148.
Richard O’Shea — Solicitor & Mediator
Solicitor at Mary Molloy Solicitors (established 1981) and holder of the Law Society of Ireland Diploma in Mediation. The firm also runs a substantial employment practice, which is why the honest sorting question — whether a situation needs a mediation or an investigation — gets answered at the first call rather than halfway through. Workplace mediations are conducted on site, at neutral venues, at The Ormond Building on Ormond Quay, at the Kilkenny office — or fully online. The mediator is appointed by both sides and acts for neither. 01 5827148 · richardoshea@marymolloysolicitors.com · LinkedIn
General information, not legal advice. This website contains general information about workplace mediation and Irish law. It is not legal advice and does not create a solicitor—client relationship. Every workplace situation turns on its own facts, and advice on yours requires a consultation.
The mediator is not your legal adviser. Where Mary Molloy Solicitors is appointed as mediator, the mediator is neutral: the mediator acts for no party, advises no party, makes no findings and decides nothing. This is so regardless of which party is paying the fee. All participants are encouraged to take independent legal advice, and in particular to take advice before signing any agreement reached in mediation. Employees may wish to seek advice from their own solicitor or trade union. The firm does not act as mediator in any matter in which it acts, or has acted, for a party — conflicts are checked before any appointment is accepted.
Mediation is not a substitute for a required process. Some matters must be investigated rather than mediated, including allegations of serious misconduct, matters engaging health and safety duties, and protected disclosures. Nothing on this site suggests that mediation should displace an employer’s statutory obligations, a grievance or disciplinary procedure where one is required, or a complainant’s entitlement to have a complaint formally investigated or to bring proceedings.
Fees. Fees for mediation are agreed in writing before the mediation begins, and fees for legal services are agreed in writing with the client at the outset. In contentious business, a solicitor may not calculate fees or other charges as a percentage or proportion of any award or settlement.
Tax. Nothing on this website is tax advice. Where any payment or arrangement has tax consequences, those questions belong with your accountant or tax adviser and with Revenue’s own guidance, and are best addressed before anything is signed.