Someone has been out for months because of a workplace conflict. A return date is agreed. They come back to the same reporting line, the same colleague, the same unresolved incident and the same absence of any conversation about it — and the likeliest outcomes are a second absence or a resignation, often within weeks, often followed by a claim.
The Anxiety Is Specific, Which Means It Is Fixable
People returning after a conflict-related absence are not anxious in general terms. They are anxious about a short list of concrete things, and almost nobody asks them what is on it: what has been said to colleagues while I was out, what happens on the first morning, will I be in the same meetings as that person, who do I report to now, does everyone know why I was away, what if it starts again, and will anything actually be different. Every one of those is answerable in advance. Almost none of them ever is — so people return into uncertainty and improvise, badly, in front of an audience, on a day when they have the least capacity to handle it well. A mediated reintegration settles the list beforehand: working and reporting arrangements, how the two people will interact and in which settings, what is said to the team — agreed in advance by both, which is frequently the single most valuable term because the alternative is that the corridor version becomes the official one, what is put behind both parties, and what happens if difficulties recur, including who is told and how quickly.
Pace, Voluntariness, and Who Else Is Involved
The pace is set by fitness, not by the employer’s convenience, and that is not negotiable. Nobody should be pressed to participate while unwell; the approach must carry no implied consequence for declining; timing should respect medical advice; and where occupational health is involved, their view on readiness matters. Where someone is genuinely not fit to take part, waiting is the correct answer — a mediation held with a person unable to participate meaningfully is not neutral whatever the paperwork says, and an agreement reached that way will not hold. Equally, an employer that simply waits with no plan at all usually receives a grievance or a resignation, so doing nothing is not the safe option it appears to be. Where someone is willing and able, preparatory individual sessions before a return date is fixed is usually the best sequencing, precisely because so much of the anxiety concerns specifics that can be settled in advance. Reintegration also needs more people than a two-party mediation: the line manager who will implement the arrangements, HR who holds the return-to-work process, and occupational health where recommendations need incorporating — so the design is agreed beforehand rather than assembled on the day. The full page is here.
The same applies after suspension or an investigation — and there it is even more under-used. Findings resolve an allegation; they do almost nothing for a working relationship, and both people usually remain in the organisation whatever the outcome. More on that here.
A return coming up that nobody has planned? 01 5827148.
Richard O’Shea — Solicitor & Mediator
Solicitor at Mary Molloy Solicitors (established 1981) and holder of the Law Society of Ireland Diploma in Mediation. The firm also runs a substantial employment practice, which is why the honest sorting question — whether a situation needs a mediation or an investigation — gets answered at the first call rather than halfway through. Workplace mediations are conducted on site, at neutral venues, at The Ormond Building on Ormond Quay, at the Kilkenny office — or fully online. The mediator is appointed by both sides and acts for neither. 01 5827148 · richardoshea@marymolloysolicitors.com · LinkedIn
General information, not legal advice. This website contains general information about workplace mediation and Irish law. It is not legal advice and does not create a solicitor—client relationship. Every workplace situation turns on its own facts, and advice on yours requires a consultation.
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